Squidward looks forward to a weekend of peace and quiet when SpongeBob and Patrick decide to go camping. However, he is extremely exasperated and disappointed to learn that they are camping in SpongeBob’s front yard, right outside his window.
Squidward confronts them and tells them that they can’t be ”camping” if they’re ten feet away from SpongeBob’s house, and decides to join them in their ”camping,” after getting the impression that the gang think Squidward to be not manly or qualified enough to camp. After he is unable to set up his automated tent, he decides to sleep under the stars.
The gang begin roasting marshmallows while Squidward goes to his house to get his can opener. However, they stop him from doing so, saying that it ”just doesn’t seem to fit the camping spirit.” So Squidward decides to eat the marshmallows, but Patrick repeatedly blows on his burned ones, sending them flying into Squidward’s face. SpongeBob then plays the ”Campfire Song Song.” Squidward dislikes it, and begins playing ”Kumbaya” very badly on his clarinet, and SpongeBob stops him by shooting a marshmallow through his clarinet and into his windpipe, causing him to choke.
After Squidward recovers and yells at them, SpongeBob claims that it’s not safe to play the clarinet outside at night, and then begins talking with Patrick about sea-bears and the things that attract them. Squidward attempts to disprove their existence by doing all the things that supposedly would attract a sea-bear, such as eating cheese cubes, wearing hoop skirts, waving flashlights, wearing clown shoes, etc.
Sure enough, a sea-bear soon appears and begins mauling Squidward. SpongeBob and Patrick draw an ”anti sea-bear circle” in the dirt, of which Squidward is also skeptical. After being attacked for the sixth time, Squidward leaps into the anti-sea bear circle. When the sea-bear leaves, SpongeBob mentions the sea-rhinoceros. Squidward fearfully asks what attracts them, and Patrick replies ”The sound of a sea-bear attack”. A sea-rhinoceros then appears and grunts at Squidward, and SpongeBob says: ”Good thing we’re all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments,” except for Squidward didn’t have a pair on.